


Billy Batson Comes Clean

by Urge



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Shazam! (2019), Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urge/pseuds/Urge
Summary: Really, Billy should have been surprised he could keep a secret for as long as he did. Yeah, he had a lot of experience in big secrets, but when faced down by the world's greatest detective, a literal god with a truth lasso, and a being that could hear his heartbeat elevate every time he lied, it was only a matter of time.Inspired by this tik tok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thepandaredd/video/6896569701619535109?lang=en) by @thepandaredd! THANK YOU to all of the commenters that helped me find it!!
Relationships: Billy Batson & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 19
Kudos: 129





	Billy Batson Comes Clean

Billy Batson wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up at Justice League headquarters for the fourth time this week, but he was getting pretty used to it, at this point. They had a dope-ass kitchen that was always kept FULLY stocked – well, of food that adult superheroes with super high metabolisms would need to keep functioning – really, some of this stuff tasted like cardboard, even if it was super filling – and they had a giant room with flat-screen TVs, and the most bodacious bunk space Billy had ever had. He had gotten some sweet naps in in the past week.

But all of these perks and great things weren’t any sort of match to the utter disappointment his foster parents would have if he didn’t _get his shit together_ and finish the essay that his sixth-grade teacher had assigned on time. And superheroing? Yeah, that was getting in the way of his functional after-school time.

So this time, when Batman had activated his beacon – Billy had turned it into a pin that he kept on the strap of his backpack, it looked pretty killer, if he did say so himself – he had grabbed the book he was supposed to read, his notebook he was writing the essay in, and his Fancy Pen™ that his foster mom had given him before Shazam-ing and meeting at the designated spot. He’d left the bag stashed in Batman’s Batmobile during the fight after picking the trunk’s lock and grabbed it when Wonder Woman told him they were going up to debrief and make sure that the villain of the day didn’t regroup for round two.

Honestly, Bill was starting to suspect that the Justice League’s heroes were just mad lonely and used whatever they could as an excuse to hang out. Billy didn’t mind – what other eleven-year-old could say that they personally knew what kind of cake Superman was trying to bake for Lois Lane? – but man, was it weird to hear them all talking about mortgages, taxes, and day jobs when he was… well… a child. So, he usually just stayed silent, nodded, and hummed thoughtfully whenever the other JL’ers asked him his opinion on the hot topic of the afternoon. Last night, he’d been put in charge of their dinner and made the only dish he knew how to make… pigpen nachos.

Superman had dug in with all the gusto one would expect from, well, Superman, Wonder Woman had looked vaguely confused by the types of toppings he put onto his chip concoction but had eaten it dutifully, the Flash and Cyborg had a contest to see who could eat the most jalapeños without barfing, and Batman… drank a protein shake. Boring.

(He’d later seen Batman stealing bits off of Wonder Woman’s plate. So, boring AND sneaky.)

This time, however, he’d excused himself from the group bonding activities and started on his homework. He heard a portal opening and closing somewhere in the distance – were the Teen Titans visiting Cyborg? He knew they were supposed to be having a movie night tonight; maybe he should find someplace quieter if they were still doing that after the fight they’d had against the League that morning. He shook off his distraction and decided that he’d keep working until they told him to move.

“Is that a book report?” croaked a quiet voice from over his shoulder. Billy squeaked an eleven-year-old’s squeak in a thirty-something body and blushed tremendously, moving to cover the page with his immeasurable bulk. (Seriously, his biceps were bigger than Superman’s. He still couldn’t beat him in arm wrestling, but he sustained that Supes cheated.)

“No!” he cried with all the conviction and voice cracks of a sixth grader being busted doing something and denying it on principle. “It’s – no! I’m helping – someone!”

Raven – Raven was the grey one that floated in the Teen Titans, right? – raised an eyebrow at him, obviously not believing a word that came out of his mouth. She flicked her fingers, and his book flew out from under his forearms, evaded his desperate grab, and settled decisively into her waiting fingers.

“Uh huh. So that’s why you’re reading a book that is usually reserved for middle schoolers?” She flicked though the pages, opening it to the back where the embossed “Property of Woodrow Wilson Middle” sat in incriminating red ink. She looked up at him, eyes still impassive. “Shazam, I’m going to need you to level with me.”

Billy gulped. The jig was up. He was going to get kicked out of the Justice League because of a stupid book report. He knew academics were overrated.

“Are you taking GED classes? I know that you haven’t been… in society for very long. Do you need help?”

Billy’s mouth was hanging loose. This was a route he hadn’t expected – oh, shit, she was an empath. She could tell that she was wrong. He watched as her eyes changed from cool and uncaring to suddenly inquisitive.

“Um, y-yeah, I’m totally in high school. Uh, high school classes. You know, cuz I came from off-planet and stuff. And I don’t know much yet.”

She flicked her fingers again and his essay floated in front of her eyes. “Billy Batson. Shazam, is that your alter ego? Billy, really? That's awful; it sounds like a kid’s… name…”

Ding. The lightbulb went off. The ruse was shot.

“Tell me you’re not a kid.”

Billy stayed silent.

“Tell me that this doesn’t say ‘Mrs. Jenkins’ Sixth Grade English, Fourth Period.’”

Again, silence.

Raven reached out and grabbed Billy by his ear. “Are you telling me you’re really just eleven years old, but your body looks like this, and now you’re fighting supervillains every day?!” Billy had never seen Raven get this angry outside of combat, and her hair was floating around her head in a distinctly unsettling way. “Oh, no, we are stopping that right now. Come with me.”

She didn’t give him a choice as she opened a portal around them, dragged him through, and plopped him into the center of the couch with the members of the Justice League and Teen Titans sitting around in scattered groups. “Be honest with them. I will know.”

She floated to the far end of the couch, radiating just a little bit of malevolence – enough for Billy to know she meant business.

Billy swallowed. “Well, everyone, I guess there’s something Raven thinks we need to talk about today. Um, I’m not sure how to say this, so I need everyone not to freak out.”

Batman smirked. “I’m Batman, I’m sure whatever secret you’re hiding, I already know it.”

Superman smiled encouragingly. “I’m sure it’s not the big deal you think it is, Shazam.”

“Well, that’s the thing, Superman – my name isn’t Shazam.”

The Flash laughed. “And my name isn’t the Flash! We all have alter egos.”

“Well, it’s more like… ugh. Okay. I’m just gonna show you. SHAZAM!”

A flash of lightning, a settling cloud of steam, and… Billy Batson, in all his pre-pubescent glory. He watched as Raven’s anger settled into what could only be called pure shock – she had reasoned a lot of it out, but not quite all of it, and apparently this was weirder than a body developing at three times the appropriate speed and having to complete remote learning. Superman was floating somewhere near the ceiling, and Batman had dived behind the couch at the crack. “Where did that lightning come from?!” he cried, not yet seeing the child sitting on the couch. Starfire clapped her hands, seemingly delighted, calling for him to repeat his transformation.

Batman popped his head over the back of the couch, taking in Billy with eyes much calmer than his dive for cover had belied. “What the fuck,” he eventually said. Robin threw a throwing bird at his mentor’s head.

“Shut up and watch your language, it’s a kid.”

“But you’re just a boy!” Wonder Woman cried. “And we’ve been putting you in danger!”

Billy scoffed. “C’mon, like I wouldn’t be getting myself in trouble if you guys didn’t get me involved anyway. It’s not like I just sit at home when you guys have a quiet week. Someone has to keep Philly safe.”

Batman was giving him a considering look. Superman floated down and leveled Batman with a glare. “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not allowed.”

“Hey kid, have you ever heard of the Robin Apprenticeship Program?”

“Oh, is _that_ what you’re calling it now?” Robin groused, unimpressed.

“My name is Billy Batson.”

“See?! BAT. SON. Son of a bat.”

“You can’t adopt another one, you’ve got like seven Robins,” Cyborg countered.

“Technically one is a Batgirl, not a Robin,” Batman retorted. “And none of them can transform. Say, Billy, how many parents do you have?”

Billy was honestly more confused than anything else. “Uh, none, but I’ve got two foster parents who I’ve been with for a while. And like four foster sisters and brothers. They can transform, too.”

“FIVE new Robins!” Batman crowed. “And they ALL transform!”

“You sound like Harley Quinn,” Wonder Woman interjected. “You know she has an entire street gang that calls themselves the Harleys after her? They’re vigilantes, but at least they’re the good kind of chaos.”

“You can’t adopt five children at once! What will their foster parents think?!”

“I’ll just adopt the foster parents, then. Make it simple.”

“They’re _adults_!” spluttered Superman.

“Focusing back on the issue at hand,” Raven quickly redirected, “we have just discovered that Shazam is, in fact, an eleven-year-old orphan who hasn’t had time to finish his homework because he keeps getting called for issues that frankly, he doesn’t need to be involved in.”

Billy opened his mouth to protest and was muted by a bubble around his mouth. “Don’t speak. I’m not finished,” Raven said, leveling him with her most even of stares. “He was working on a book report today. Billy, is this due tomorrow? Nod or shake.” He nodded, shooting daggers with his eyes. “And you idiots can’t give him the time to rest. Now, Billy, I’m going to assume you’re still going to find out about some of the things the League is doing, and you’ve obviously got the abilities to get to whatever fight is happening, so I’m not suggesting that you cut him out of the equation entirely. What I am suggesting, however, is Billy writing down a schedule for when he has tests, quizzes and assignments, and that we only bother him when COMPLETELY NECESSARY, or when he doesn’t have an academic obligation.” She pointed at Robin without turning her head. “This one barely passed tenth grade because you all kept calling him out for nighttime patrols.” Her hand swiveled to Starfire. “She’s been working on multiplication tables for five months now because every time we have a breakthrough, there’s a crisis.” She pointed to Cyborg. “You say that getting your college diploma was the hardest thing you’ve ever done because of all the school you had to miss because of your surgery and following superheroism – you played catch-up for four years to get where you are now.” She glanced at Beast Boy, sprawled out on the couch, who grinned a fangy grin at her and wiggled his eyebrows. “I don’t know how you do so well, or how you graduated college early, considering what a complete slacker you are _literally_ everywhere else, but you’re an enigma and I’m not counting you in terms of academic success.”

“Hey!”

“But my point is, if we disrupt a _child’s learning,_ something that _none_ of you adults had to deal with – none of you were supering at _eleven,_ even if you had trauma – then you’re going to mess him up for a lot longer than right now. And I won’t be party to that.”

Silence. She waved her hand and Billy could talk again, not that he wanted to be the one to break the silence after that speech. Finally, Superman sighed. “You’re right,” he said. “We need to be more considerate of your academic commitments. Ma always said school came first. And we need to make sure that your school is allowed to come first.”

So, they settled upon an agreement.

(Batman did make him an apprentice, even if he wasn’t allowed to adopt him. There were a suspicious amount of charity events in their part of Philly specifically for foster families, though. Billy also suspected that Batman had made a college fund for him… and all of his foster siblings.)

(Raven helped him to finish his book report. He got an A. Of course, she had read all of the books that were on the curriculum.)

(And Beast Boy had begun a master’s degree at Jump City University. That was still weird.)

**Author's Note:**

> :) Please don't kill me for not updating my other fics. I wrote this one while I should have been studying.


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